I Do Not Have Whiskers

I don’t exactly remember the situation but the other day someone made a comment about my “whiskers.”
Hmm…I have a beard not whiskers.
Cats have whiskers.
Foxes have whiskers
Tigers have whiskers
Bears have whiskers…wait…do bears have whiskers?
OLD MEN have whiskers.
I HAVE A BEARD!!!
I did a little research and whiskers are pretty important.  I know this because I looked at [...]

I don’t exactly remember the situation but the other day someone made a comment about my “whiskers.”

Hmm…I have a beard not whiskers.

Cats have whiskers.

Foxes have whiskers

Tigers have whiskers

Bears have whiskers…wait…do bears have whiskers?

OLD MEN have whiskers.

I HAVE A BEARD!!!

I did a little research and whiskers are pretty important.  I know this because I looked at wikipedia.  Whiskers technical name is “vibrissae.”  According to WIKI, 

Vibrissae (singular: vibrissa), or whiskers, are specialized hairs, usually employed for tactile sensation, but can also refer to the stiff feathers near the mouths of some birds.

I don’t think I have whiskers.

Here is a test to reveal the truth

1) In some mammals, the follicles of vibrissae (whiskers) are surrounded by a highly developed sheath of muscle tissue which can be used to move them.  FALSE  I can’t move my beard on my face because I do not have that many muscles in my face and I would look stupid if I could move my so called “whiskers” around.

2) Vibrissae (whiskers) offer an advantage to animals that do not always have sight to rely on to navigate or to find food.  FALSE  I can see and I do not need whiskers to find food and I do not use my beard to find food.  I actually try to keep food out of my beard.

3) A large part of the brain of many mammals is devoted to processing the nerve impulses from vibrissae (whiskers).  This might be TRUE. But let’s say it is FALSE.  I don’t spend too much time processing how my beard feels.  At least I don’t think I do. 

4) Clipping or otherwise removing a mammal’s vibrissae (whiskers) deprives the affected animal of sensory awareness. For example, cutting off the vibrissae (whiskers) on one side of a housecat’s face will cause it to cut left corners too quickly and walk in a lopsided manner until the vibrissae grow back.  WOW!  I may have to experiment with this but I highly doubt that shaving my beard on one side of my face will cause me to walk in a lopsided manner or walk into walls.

So there is my argument…I do not have whiskers….I HAVE A BEARD!

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4 Comments

  1. Mike Murray added these pithy words on October 2, 2008 | Permalink

    I don’t know Brian… If you shaved your beard OTHER people might not be able to find you and might walk sideways around you. They might be whiskers. ;-)

  2. Jeremy Robertson added these pithy words on October 2, 2008 | Permalink

    Could we shave one side of your beard this weekend just to see if you would walk lopsided? Anyway, I’m with ya on this, although I don’t even have that much of a beard!

  3. Joel added these pithy words on October 2, 2008 | Permalink

    you have stuble, but mostly a beard. Great correction, long live the bearded one.

  4. Kym added these pithy words on October 2, 2008 | Permalink

    B, you are too much. I guess you had a good time “researching” the whisker. I think you should try the one-sided shave…might make for a surprising find…but don’t blame me if you start walking lop-sided. :)

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